I will be a year older tomorrow, my first birthday this far away from home. Apart from intermittent back pains and a vision that needs to be checked, I feel good at 31. Yes, I feel old – but in a good way. I don’t think I wasted the past 10 years of my life. I pursued my passions, dared to take risks, embarked on a few adventures, formed friendships, forgave malevolent relatives, did not walk away from a good fight, hurdled challenges here and there, embraced happiness, laughed and loved. I climbed mountains, stood at the edge of a volcano’s crater, went scuba diving (activities that my family thought I’d never get to do because I’ve always been viewed as the fragile one), smoked, drank, partied, woke up wasted. I don’t feel like I’ve been cheated of those so-called youthful, wild years. I had my turn and I’ve “graduated”, so to speak. I may have made some bad mistakes in the past but I don’t regret anything owing to being raised with the philosophy of action and consequence.
It feels a little weird celebrating my birthday 10,000 miles away from home. I somehow miss the noise and the teasing. If I were home, I am quite certain my mother would insist on crossing my forehead with chicken blood early in the morning, a tradition the meaning of which still escapes me to this day. There will also be the almost compulsory attendance at a thanksgiving mass. I miss the food and the feeling that the day belongs to you. When I was a kid birthdays not only meant presents but a reprieve from household chores and bullying by our brother. I miss being good-naturedly “harassed” by friends to treat them to dinner and a round of beer.
I received birthday cards from my family yesterday. My nephew wrote a short message that had me chuckling. That brat has grown up. He wrote “When will I see you again?” and instantly my heart melted. My parents and sister also extolled my being a good daughter/sister (ahem!) over the years and so I guess I am doing all right as a person. Haha! Seriously, I am thankful and I know that I’m blessed. Being 31 is not too bad. Entering the 30s is not as terrible as I once thought. Being older has its perks too, one of them being maturity. The ability to see the big picture and make more sensible decisions truly comes with age and life experiences.
So what do I wish for? There are a few things on my list but really, I am very happy with where I’m at right now in my life. What matters most is that at the end of the day, when the husband and I talk, argue or joke about a variety of things, I can tell myself, “Yes, this is where I want to be.” When you look forward to the next day and wake up knowing you’re with someone who’s right for you, life is good.