November 05, 2007
A year of firsts
The husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary on Saturday, Nov. 3. It's hard to believe 12 months have passed, but the good thing is we came out of the first year not poking each other's eyeballs out. I am also happy to report that, thus far, no dishes have been broken. Haha! Saturday was nothing short of amazing. I don't know how much planning was involved or how many people he enlisted to pull off the surprise, but we had a marvelous time. The son was a co-conspirator no less.
The only information I had was that we were going out to dinner. "We're going to Olive Garden tonight but we'll stop by Sonic first to stuff ourself with junk food," he said. I was a little baffled as well when the husband refused to open his gift saying he didn't have my gift ready yet. "Let's have our anniversary on Tuesday instead," he suggested. By the time I was done getting dressed, Re'Sean had disappeared and the husband offered no explanation as to his whereabouts. I didn't notice that the husband's gift went missing as well.
The first surprise was dinner for two at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, a fancy restaurant that offered a beautiful view of Arlington, and partly of DC, at night. I was grinning from ear to ear and, well, giddy like teenager on a first date. The husband feasted on Cowboy Ribeye that cut like butter (yummy!) and I had lamb chops for the first time, on top of sauteed mushrooms and calamari served with white wine. The food was superb and the conversation was sweet. It was perfect!
Before dessert was served the waiter came by and placed a couple of gift bags on the table. It took me a few seconds to recognized the gift I was insisting for the husband to open that afternoon. And so the rest of the husband's plan unraveled - he wanted us to exchange gifts during dinner. And a good friend of the husband at work, along with her son, had taken Re'Sean to the movies so the husband and I could have a one-on-one time. We wrapped up the evening with cheesecake and ice cream. When I asked the husband who helped him put things together, his only reply was, "I got people."
With that said, I have people to thank:
Venus, for looking after Re'Sean and helping the husband bring out the biggest smile on my face; Rose and Phillip for the best cheesecake that the husband is a little unwilling to share a few slices with us; and Rebecca for the wonderful anniversary gifts that promptly went up on display. Special thanks to Re'Sean for being a real good conniver.
Our resolutions for the second year? I will keep up with my threats of skinning him alive. Just a few hours ago he said I will be reduced to 12 broken pieces by 2012, or that I will be shipped home in boxes. Looks like there's a lot in store for us!
I forgot to bring the camera to dinner and so here I am in my lamb
chops-stuffed glory, trying my darnedest to comply with Re'Sean's - aka
the photographer - instruction for me to "work it, work it."
My anniversary card that recalled a lot of violence, and his that
promises less overtime at work. Hah! Plus, my Santa delivered early
the Ugg boots I was wishing for Christmas!
And this is the letter I wrote for the husband and intended for him to read first thing in the morning, except that he woke up first. Drat! Anyway, hubby dear, this is for you:
Wow, we survived our first year. And what a year it’s been. You survived my cooking (if we can call it that), my mood swings (PMS-related or otherwise), my obsession with keeping things in order, my incessant chatting at night when you’re in desperate need of sleep, the inexplicable bursts of anger and other emotional drama that came with adjusting to married life, the few times I doubted you, my frustrations, disappointments and boredom. The first six months was a hell of a ride.
Someone did warn me that marriage takes a lot of work. I just didn’t know it was going to take this amount of work, and we’re only starting. I learned that there are going to be emotional letdowns along the way. I learned that some expectations will not be met. I learned that we will cut each other with words that we’ll eventually regret and apologize for. I learned that sometimes the word sorry is all that we need to say.
I learned that you’re not perfect. I learned that it is easy to find fault and point out your shortcomings if I wanted to. However, I also learned that it is easier to forgive and to look at your strengths, the little things that you do and the surprises that you pull to make me feel like I’m the center of your world. I have learned to pick my battles and to respect your space and distance. I realized our imperfections could not outweigh our commonalities.
I realized that not every day will be perfect. I realized that on a busy day the conversation will be reduced to unceremonious “how-are-yous” and “I-love-yous.” I have learned not begrudge you when you barely have time to spare. I realized that marriage requires so much more than love, and that it is okay to stretch my patience further than I thought I could. I realized it is not too hard to accept that sometimes I am wrong. I have learned to tone down my pride. I know for certain that it has taken you just as much patience to put up with my idiosyncrasies the last 12 months.
Marriage, they say, brings out a lot of surprises – good or bad – between two people. I was surprised to learn that I find fulfillment in doing things for you – just because. I’m surprised that I have the tolerance to pick up your shoes that can’t seem to find their way to the closet, or to clean up the gazillion of hairs you leave all over the bathroom floor after shaving, your snoring (heck, now I find it hard to sleep without it) or your unshakeable habit of keeping the tv on. I am surprised at how I truly enjoy being a wife, even if that means having to follow two steps behind you sometimes. I take a lot of pride in who you are and what you do. It is something that I always knew I’d need from my man. I am strong by myself but I also need an anchor.
Thank you for being the man that you are. We’ve had our ups and downs but not once did I regret being married to you. The best part of my day is waking up with you and knowing I’m where I need to be. Happy anniversary, mahal!