When Tyra Banks is not rallying plus-size women to take their bras off and flaunt their figures, she's parading a peculiar assembly of characters on her show. In one of the marathon Valentine's Day-related episodes, "odd couples" were featured as a testament to extreme love. Now, I'm not trying to make fun of people leaning on the heavy side. However, upon watching this video, doesn't it make you wonder what happened right after the camera stopped rolling? She's all right folks; she made it to the show. This couple has added a new word to sexabulary - squashing.
So who received a dozen roses yesterday? Chocolates? Some fancy jewelry? I know a lot of people shell out good money on Valentine's Day to make their significant others feel special. Men especially are on the receiving end of the pressure that comes with this commercial phenomenon to be creative and dripping with sappiness at least for a day. Heck, we expect our men to turn into Shakespeare overnight and sweep us off our feet with not too original sweet-nothings!
The husband has been working his butt off night and day to give our family a comfortable life. I swear sometimes I think they turn him into a human punching bag at work. By the time he gets home, he's been drained of energy to the bone. However, we have laid out our goals since the beginning of this marriage and he's determined to make them happen. I couldn't be more thankful for having a partner like that.
So on Valentines Day, I thought it would be nice to turn the tables around. Instead of Valentine's being - ahem - about me, I decided to spoil him for a little bit yesterday with the help of a couple of his coworkers. I decided to cater to the husband's weakness by showing up at his office, unannounced, with a platter of cheesecake and a card that says he's been given a one-day pass to indulge his sweet tooth. I did stipulate that he was limited to two slices of cheesecake.
One of his officemates, Ms. M, had told him they were going to lunch together, but that she had to go to the bank first. In reality, she had to rush outside the building to meet me, help me get cleared with security and escort me inside. The husband was inside another coworker's cubicle when I came in and so he didn't see me right away. When he finally turned to leave (by then quite a handful of people had already gathered around to watch his reaction), the husband, whose back was turned to me that time, spotted M and asked, "You ready?" I thought that was the perfect moment and I cut in with, "Are you ready?" The look on his face after making a quick about-face was simply priceless. Later that night he told me he was so suprised he didn't know how to act. Haha! He said he was very proud of me, and two dozens of red roses couldn't beat that. Anyway, we had lunch together, joined by my co-conspirators who gave me quite an extensive report on how the husband has been sneaking in a doughnut here and a Twix candy bar there in his diet. Before I left, I confiscated a bag of cookies from his office.
Two more surprises were waiting for him at home. One was a new set of clothes and the other was a massaging bed lounger. (I will be posting pictures of it soon.) He calls it his semi La-Z-Boy and it does work - he fell asleep in it in the middle of a phone conference last night. In short, he was a happily, pampered man.
I would like to make special mention of my stepson's role in the surprises we pulled yesterday. We braved the chilly wind and we were both rained out the day we went to get the cheesecake. Also, he made sure his dad wouldn't walk straight to the bedroom upon coming home from work, ruining the "drama effect" we had planned in unveiling the lounger.
What was the husband's Valentine's Day gift for me, you ask? Dinner Saturday night. I can't wait! Also, he picked a very meaningful card on the 14th and now there's a talking stuffed toy puppy sitting in the living room.
Work will open two hours late today due to inclement weather conditions. Which explains why I'm tinkering with the computer so early in the morning. Roads are still coated in ice, no thanks to freezing rain. I know other states have seen the worst, but a quarter inch of snow in DC is news. I am wearing sneakers to work and hopefully by the time I have to walk to the building they have already de-iced the pavements.
All right, enough with the weather talk. Tomorrow, flowers and chocolates will be selling like hotcakes. Have you already shopped for your man/woman? I was watching "Morning Express with Robin Meade" on CNN yesterday, featuring the worst gifts men get on Valentine's Day. I don't blame some of them. A singing fish mounted on the bathroom door? Now why would you torture your significant other like that? I have a bit of sympathy for men - they go through lots of trouble trying to pick the perfect gift for their women and get "default gifts" (ties, socks, shirts, smiley boxers) in return. Valentine's Day was created for women, no doubt.
I have purchased a little something for the husband. It remains to be seen whether it will wow him tomorrow. This post is my advance Valentine's Day greetings to everyone, attached or otherwise. If you are fabulously single or boyfriend-less, have fun with friends. There is no such thing as a "firing squad." Spread the love around and make sure you tell your loved ones they're being thought of.
Didn't I say several posts back that my feet will set me up for a disaster? It happened again today. Melted ice equals slippery pavement equals Fleur losing balance equals Fleur breaking her knees. Well, I hope nothing's broken anyway. It was so bad it almost knocked me unconscious. (I guess the bright side of that is I was in so much pain I couldn't care less if 200 other people were looking.) A few feet away from me an old lady also slipped and could have dislocated her shoulders. I limped all the way to the Metro station and tried not to faint in pain. When the husband was informed of my mishap, he met me at the Pentagon and became my crutch all the way home. He baptized me "Gimpy."
Today also happened to be "commuters' hell day." Ice storm warnings were raised all over Northern Virginia and at least 15 traffic accidents were reported along I-395 alone. The husband and I hopped on the train a little past 5 p.m. and finally made it home around 7:30. As I am typing this, there are still commuters out there who left work as early as 4 p.m. and still stuck in buses. Life is a b*tch when bad weather strikes.
So we'll see how my knees turn out tomorrow. The husband already forced two Advils down my throat to alleviate the pain. I have applied cold pack on a very visible swelling on my left knee and I'm hopping on one foot around the house. Temperatures will continue to drop tonight and icy roads usually means bad news in the metro DC area.
In a related news of the odd, eight African green monkeys sustained some minor abrasions and bruises when the trailer they were riding in flipped along I-95 in Harford Country, Maryland. One suffered a head injury and is reportedly in "semicomatose." The article didn't say why the driver, who was uninjured, was traveling with monkeys. Everyone is fair game on slippery highways?